"This thing's bigger than sliced bread! - You bet your bottom it is!"

I've felt the need to split the Pixies plight into several pages which makes it easier to read and also allows you to come back at another later date and catch up on the stuff you've missed. If you've never heard of the Pixies of Worksop then read the intro below, else you can just skip to the good stuff. Enjoy. As we humans understand, computer information is sent through cables as electricity. But no. This is not reality, and you are naive if you believe in electricity. Let me inform you of the pixies. The pixies are tiny, tiny creatures that travel through cables, delivering information from place to place. The pixies use specially made velcro-fastening bags to carry the information, and can run faster than Linford Christie. But I bet you're saying, "I've sent information to the other side of the world on the Internet before, and its got there in seconds!", "you want me to believe that they can 'run' that fast?!" The answer is quite simply, no. When the pixies have to travel many miles, they don't use pixie magic, oh no. They use Pixie taxis. These are just like conventional taxis that we humans use, except they are many times smaller and can travel very fast, even faster than a formula one racing car, and shuttle pixie after pixie from place to place. Still don't believe me? Ok, as everyone knows, the CPU (Common Pixies Union - known as the Central Processing Unit to us humans) is very, very fast. This is because there are many pixies in here, and things work very quickly. Almost at the speed of light. When the Internet gets slow, its not because the number of people using the Internet, no... because their CPU's haven't got slower, its because there aren't enough pixie taxis to shuttle all the pixies all over the world. Sometimes you have to wait a couple of minutes for a pixie taxi to come along. There are people that support these theories, they are called "network managers" (- perhaps you know one, in your school, university, work place?), and they develop new ways of helping the pixies get around faster. For example, they designed the velcro-fastening bag that they use, because before them, the pixies used ordinary plastic carrier bags. The bags had a tendency to break and spill information all over the place. It was very messy indeed. Do you believe yet? Well, if you don't, then your just stupid. Use these links to follow the plight of the Pixies - you'll be surprised what a load of mythical taxi riding, velcro-bag carrying beings can do! 07/01/98: Where is Worksop? 28/02/98: Head Pixie revealed. 13/02/98: E-mails from Network Supervisors (threats and info!) 22/02/98: Evidence from Nottingham. 27/02/98: Hoaxers ruin Pixie investigators credibility.

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